“Why did I ever ask her to be a bridesmaid? She’s insane!”
I cannot tell you how often I have heard these words from brides a month or two before their wedding. For whatever reason – be it number of attendants on the groom’s side, stress, or guilty association – some brides twist themselves in knots over which girls to choose for bridesmaids or (gasp!) the Maid of Honor. In a haste to make everyone who thinks she should be part of your bridal party happy, you ask ladies you really do not know well. Before you know it, you have a small army of attendants you rarely see until just before the wedding. Not cool!
Every decision you make about your attendants can have a resounding effect on the moods surrounding the festivities both before and during your wedding day. Keep the following quick tips in mind before popping the big question to your girls!
1. Choose a friend or family member who will take being your bridesmaid seriously.
This means she will try to move her schedule around to help with your DIY tasks when she can, will listen to you rant about your wedding woes (but will stop you before you go over the edge!), and will even help plan your bridal shower. Then, she will actually commit to being at the shower. Make sure the lady you ask is tons of fun and would be willing to cut-up to relieve your stress - but she truly must be dependable, too. If someone you have in mind tends to RSVP to your get-togethers or parties and then doesn’t come, and you learn about the other party she went to instead via photos on Facebook, she is likely not bridesmaid material…no matter how fun she can make a party (if she actually arrives).
2. Choose attendants you can see yourself having strong friendships with well into the future.
Harsh as it sounds, asking ladies you do not expect to continue friendships with after you are married ultimately dates your wedding. Honor your closest friends and family with this role – not the girls in your best friend’s group with whom you rarely spoke.
3. You do not have to have the same number of attendants on both sides.
So what if your groom has five guys, and you only chose four girls? It is really not that big of an issue. Leave your number where it is if it means you might ask someone you’ll regret choosing later. Keep in mind that having more maids means more bouquets, more bridal party gifts, and more miscellaneous costs, too.
4. Scared that choosing a Maid of Honor will hurt someone else’s feelings?
Don’t be. The other ladies should understand that it isn’t necessarily a game of favorites. (Okay…maybe it is. Just a little.) If feelings do get hurt, let your other maids know that you chose your MOH for her planning and visionary abilities. You probably also chose her for her ability to nip drama in the bud before it starts, which is a must with almost any group of girls in a high-stress situation! The day is about you, and your MOH will be with you more than anyone else throughout the day. In other words, it is okay to have favorites here.
5. Think of the bottom line in the end!
Getting married is one of the most exhilarating experiences of your life. Cherish it with the ladies who have made your journey more meaningful because they have been a part of it!
When it comes to choosing your attendants, I always say to think before you ask. Sleep on it. Chat with your future hubby about it. In the end, only pick the girls you are closest to. After all, if you're close to someone, you likely already know if she's “insane,” and you can save yourself the unpleasant surprise of finding out later!
What are your thoughts on choosing bridesmaids? Let us know in the comments below!
I cannot tell you how often I have heard these words from brides a month or two before their wedding. For whatever reason – be it number of attendants on the groom’s side, stress, or guilty association – some brides twist themselves in knots over which girls to choose for bridesmaids or (gasp!) the Maid of Honor. In a haste to make everyone who thinks she should be part of your bridal party happy, you ask ladies you really do not know well. Before you know it, you have a small army of attendants you rarely see until just before the wedding. Not cool!
Every decision you make about your attendants can have a resounding effect on the moods surrounding the festivities both before and during your wedding day. Keep the following quick tips in mind before popping the big question to your girls!
1. Choose a friend or family member who will take being your bridesmaid seriously.
This means she will try to move her schedule around to help with your DIY tasks when she can, will listen to you rant about your wedding woes (but will stop you before you go over the edge!), and will even help plan your bridal shower. Then, she will actually commit to being at the shower. Make sure the lady you ask is tons of fun and would be willing to cut-up to relieve your stress - but she truly must be dependable, too. If someone you have in mind tends to RSVP to your get-togethers or parties and then doesn’t come, and you learn about the other party she went to instead via photos on Facebook, she is likely not bridesmaid material…no matter how fun she can make a party (if she actually arrives).
2. Choose attendants you can see yourself having strong friendships with well into the future.
Harsh as it sounds, asking ladies you do not expect to continue friendships with after you are married ultimately dates your wedding. Honor your closest friends and family with this role – not the girls in your best friend’s group with whom you rarely spoke.
3. You do not have to have the same number of attendants on both sides.
So what if your groom has five guys, and you only chose four girls? It is really not that big of an issue. Leave your number where it is if it means you might ask someone you’ll regret choosing later. Keep in mind that having more maids means more bouquets, more bridal party gifts, and more miscellaneous costs, too.
4. Scared that choosing a Maid of Honor will hurt someone else’s feelings?
Don’t be. The other ladies should understand that it isn’t necessarily a game of favorites. (Okay…maybe it is. Just a little.) If feelings do get hurt, let your other maids know that you chose your MOH for her planning and visionary abilities. You probably also chose her for her ability to nip drama in the bud before it starts, which is a must with almost any group of girls in a high-stress situation! The day is about you, and your MOH will be with you more than anyone else throughout the day. In other words, it is okay to have favorites here.
5. Think of the bottom line in the end!
Getting married is one of the most exhilarating experiences of your life. Cherish it with the ladies who have made your journey more meaningful because they have been a part of it!
When it comes to choosing your attendants, I always say to think before you ask. Sleep on it. Chat with your future hubby about it. In the end, only pick the girls you are closest to. After all, if you're close to someone, you likely already know if she's “insane,” and you can save yourself the unpleasant surprise of finding out later!
What are your thoughts on choosing bridesmaids? Let us know in the comments below!